Light . Shadow . Golden ... A Self-Reflection

Love, it's always been there
Fortunate, cared for ❤️
Trust, a privilege I shared and received
To see, to feel, the light, the warmth
These always filled my mind, my path, my plans
When trampled by those I thought were peers
To feel the loneliness, the confusion, the pain
These I resisted
To read, to watch something disturbing
I recoiled, I judged
Again I'd reach for the light,
Gasping
The trees were sanctuary🌿
The ocean air therapy
I did not understand so many
And yet
I thought it was they who didn't understand me
To rebel was just not in my bones
Or so I thought
To fear was to lose control
I aimed to achieve, to feel calm, to feel peace
Missing that these are only but one aspect
That life, that energy... It is light and it is dark
Destruction, decay, shadow
In a forest I would sit, and these I would accept
Part of a cycle, of a balance
Yet within myself,
This shadow
These emotions, actions, these experiences that I perceived as dark
I would struggle
When I saw what I perceived as darkness in another,
I was uncomfortable
I now ask why?
I now butt heads with societal norms
I will not be a follower
I will still achieve
But I will do it in my truth
My plan, my vision, not others
And through doing this
I will support, guide, inspire
I follow my heart 💜
Still guided by light but looking for my balance, my alignment 🌀
And to do this... To feel this
I will mesh my light with my darkness
I choose not to resist
I feel I am almost there
My vision, Welcome Arms... A step forward
My daughter... Testing, teaching me
My struggles and frustrations now intermingle with a full heart
No longer will I recoil
Breaking through
Blazing forward
To accept, to feel, to cry, to scream
I am All
Light. Shadow. Golden.
💛🌀🌿✨

Thank you @bebelove1975 for our conversation
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Written by Mandy Spry of @welcomearms
Self-portrait Imagery @welcomearms
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copyright Amanda Spry, Welcome Arms